Senseless
by Demon2
Summary: PG for language... Everyone's gone crazy. There's talking meese, rainbow colored sporks, and little yellow bus drivers that kidnap one of the guys...
1. Playstations, School Buses and Weirdos

AN:  I had to repost the first chapter because I accidentally posted part of the second chapter with it… that's why there was that huge gap.

Disclaimer:  I don't own it, I won't ever own it, so get over it.

"You vandamn fascist nazi! I hope you rot in heaven!" Jack yelled as he threw the PS2 controller across the room. 

"Dude, that so wasn't necessary," Sydney commented, as she retrieved the abused controller. 

"Um, are you two ok?" Marshall asked worriedly. 

Kendall barged into the room, shoved Marshall aside, and jumped on a table yelling, "Everyone! I'm bald!" then left. Vaughn watched the bald one disappear into thin air. Vaughn continued to stare at the spot Kendall was last at, as Weiss snuck up behind him and poured ice water onto his head. 

"C… COLD!" Vaughn yelled as he jumped 5 feet in the air, and hit his head on the ceiling. Sydney skipped by, and briefly wondered why Vaughn was soaking wet and hanging from the ceiling. After returning the abused controller to her father, Sydney passed by Vaughn again, this time stopping to stare at Vaughn's soaking white shirt, and the skin revealed beneath it. As she stared, Will came out of nowhere and tackled Vaughn, pulling him from the ceiling and blocking Sydney's view of the hot, but cold, soaking handler. Sydney frowned at this and wandered off to find Sark, so she could rip off his shirt for no apparent reason. 

Francie ran into the room brandishing sporks of various colors, as any army of meese chased after her. 

"Get her!" The leader of the Meese army yelled. Everyone stopped and stared. 

"Dude, you're a moose… you can't talk, " Sydney stated. The leader of the army of meese stared at Sydney for a moment, then turned and motioned the meese into a huddle. Moments later, the huddle broke, and the meese left the room, making meese noises. Marshall stared after them, confuzzled with all the insanity that was occurring. 

"You Nazi!" Jack yelled, breaking Marshall's concentration, when he returned to his game. Marshall looked at Jack, concerned, then noticed Sydney and motioned her over. 

"Um… what's he, um, playing?" Marshall asked. 

"Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance," Sydney said, before running off to find a man at a bar. Irina wandered in shortly after. 

"When all else fails, you know that truth takes time," She said mysteriously before wandering off again. Will watched her walk away when a thought struck him. And it did indeed strike him, since the next thing he knew was that he was on the ground. 

"It's been six months since I've been online! How horrible!" Will yelled as he raced toward the closest computer. When he got there, however, Will noticed that Shirtless Sark was on the computer. "You double-crosser! It's my turn! I left a sticky note there ages ago!" Will yelled. 

"You don't have to bloody yell" Sark mumbled, irritated. Sydney had left him alone, shirtless, with people who were supposed to be his enemies. He glanced at Vaughn and Will. Indeed, some were his enemies, but it was not because they were trying to kill him, no, it was far worse. Vaughn and Will were Sark's enemies because they liked Sydney too. Sark glanced around, paranoid. 

"No one will have Sydney but me!" Sark yelled, tackling Will. Before he could throw the first punch, however, a little yellow bus crashed through the wall. The blue and purple haired driver waved her hand with multi-colored fingernails at Sark as a blue haired demonic being dressed in black dragged Vaughn onto the bus, before the blue and purple haired driver crashed through the other wall and drove erratically down the street. Will and Sark glanced at each other, unable to fully comprehend what just happened.       

Suddenly, Will busted out laughing, and Sark glanced at him irritably. 

"What?!" He demanded. It took five minutes for Will to get his laughter under control before he pulled a post-it off of Sark's head and handed it to him. Sark took the post-it and read the foreboding message: Sarkie-poo! You're next! Teehee!


	2. The Insanity Continues

Jack, Sydney, Marshall, Sark, Will and Irina, who reappeared out of thin air, stared after the little yellow bus. 

"Um, what was, um, that?" Marshall inquired quietly. 

"It was a little yellow bus with a demonic blue haired being and a blue and purple haired driver." Irina said, stating the obvious. Jack glared after the little yellow bus that had so rudely interrupted his game by taking out the wall with the electrical wires. 

"Assclowns…" Jack muttered, pulling out a generator from his pocket and hooking up the PS2 to it. Marshall watched Jack, wondering how he managed to hook a PS2 up to a generator. Sydney watched after the bus for a few minutes, angry at Vaughn's kidnapping. After a few minutes, however, she turned and tackled Sark. 

"Sarkie!" Sydney yelled.  Taken by surprise, Sydney managed to knock the wind out of Sark.  The wind knocked out of him spuns circles around the room, making Jack's PS2 fly into the air, and after the little yellow bus with the Vaughnnapers.  

"My Playstation!" Jack yelled in anguish.  Irina patted him on the back, attempting to console him.  Will, however, was busy trying to pry Sydney off Sark.

"He's the enemy, remember?" Will said, trying to convince Sydney to get off of Sark so he could run off somewhere either far away or close to their current location with her.  Sydney glanced down at Sark, who was still trying to regain his breath, since it decided to fly off after the little yellow school bus.  Sydney allowed Will to pull her off of Sark, then turned around and ripped Will's shirt off.

"Yay!  Two Hot Shirtless men!" Sydney cheered.  As Sydney tried to convince Sark and Will to get into a fight in a pool so their shirtless selves could have water dripping off their bodies, and Irina consoled Jack, Marshall pulled out a suitcase from his pocket.  He opened the suitcase – which was black with glowing blue writing – and pulled out some random technologically advanced contraptions of one sort or another.

Marshall pushed some buttons on one, twisted some nobs on another, and flipped some levers on the last one.  After a few minutes, an exclamation point appeared above his head.  "I found them!"  Marshall declared.

Irina looked up from consoling Jack, "You found Vaughn and the Vaughnnappers?" she asked.

Marshall shook his head, the exclamation point shaking with it, in response.  "Nope, better.  I found a couple of web sites that'll help me find a date."

Sydney, who managed to catch part of the conversation over the splashing of the two hot guys she pushed into the pool, turned and frowed at Marshall.  "You didn't find Vaughn?" She asked.

Marshall shook his head.  "No.  I didn't know you wanted me to look… ow!" Marshall exclaimed in pain as Sydney beat him upside the head with his exclamation mark. Jack and Irina stared at their daughter in disbelief.  

"Didn't her parents teach her any manners?" Irina asked Jack.

"Guess not…" Jack replied.

"Wait a minute… aren't we her parents?" Irina wondered. Jack laughed.

"Well, that explains it.  Now, care to help me find my playstation?"

"With pleasure."  With that said, Irina and Jack turned to find one form or another of transportation.  They quickly dived to the side, however, as a black Lamborgini Diablo VT with darkly tinted windows flew through the hole in the wall and into the room near the pool where Sark and Will fought.  An all too familiar blue and purple haired being jumped out of the passenger side and ran over to the pool.  In the middle of a dramatic pose, the being grabbed Will and threw him into the trunk of the car, and jumped in after him.  The car turned and flew off, careening from side to side hitting all of the pedestrians on the road.

"Not Will!" Sydney exclaimed in an angst-like grief-filled way.  Shirtless Sark climbed out of the pool, grinning.  He liked those beings… they took away his competition.

Jack and Irina chased after the speeding black car, shooting after it in vain.  Marshall glanced around the wreckage, wondering briefly how the beings got back so quickly, and noticed a letter on the floor.  He picked it up, opened it, and stared at the writing for ten minutes.  Then he turned to Jack, who had walked back in the building, looking downcast, with Irina.  "Um, Mr. Bristow?  Um…. Can you read this?" Marshall asked quietly.

Jack took the letter and stared at it.   Five minutes later, he passed it to Irina.  "Maybe you can read it."

Irina stared at the writing of the letter, trying to decifer it.  For some weird reason, the scribbles looked familiar.  Then she realized that it was in English.  

"Hee!  We changed our minds… oh well. Shit happens.  Wheeee!  Go meet a man at a bar in six months, ask him about 'resurgam' and 'sporky meese'.  He'll tell you to go to the Rest in Pieces night club where you'll have to sweep the floor.  A silent observer will approach you and you need to say "All I wanted to do was write a letter to my daughter, because not talking to her is worse than death" then he'll tell you to get on the road again, get lost, beware of double crossers, and go find a wraith in the SMFSSG Real World: LA before the evil gabs strikes back and makes you live forever in silent solitude." Irina read.

Sydney danced around, delighted.  "Road Trip!"


End file.
